Have I told you about the healing house? When our world caved in we made the decision to leave the house where the attacks occurred. This meant we didn’t have the cash to buy a new house, so we moved into a little house my parents bought to retire into. We went from a home we had recently remodeled that was HUGE – two stories, a great room that was bigger than the whole house we moved into – and we moved into a tiny two-bedroom/one-bath. But, we needed to go.
David called our little house our “healing house.” He told me this one day while we were sitting on the couch. We spent our extra money on DVDs and we began to have movie night every night. We turned the porch into a play area and we began the process of healing.
Over time we got rid of our van (where Sam had leaned in to threaten the boys while I was chatting with my lady friends at church through my car window.) We left our church, where it also happened. Eventually we left the entire community.
I’m not saying this is right for everyone, but it might be. The weight gradually lifted with each change we made. It was tough to make many of these decisions. In fact, we ended up declaring bankruptcy to get rid of the house (as the bank refused to take it back). When the assaults happened, David was working full time at the fire department and part time as a mover. I was working part time, teaching dance. We went down to one income to help our boys heal. We gave up a second car and our home to make them our focus. All of our financial freedoms ended in the pursuit of healing. We had great credit and now we are starting over after 15 years of marriage.
But none of that matters when one day is better than the last one. We weren’t sure before we did it, but after we did… it got better. It got so much better.